User blog:DylanTBest123/Breaking Down CWAC Pages - Ep. 1
Disclaimer Note: The People's Parliament does not condone nor support this blog. This blog is completely unrelated to Parliamentarian business and only reflects the views of its author. Glory to the Parliament. LETS BEGIN Introduction TODAY WE'LL BE RANTING ABOUT ONE OF MANY CWAC PAGES, AND REVIEWING IT. TODAY WE'LL START OFF WITH THE PAGE DEDICATED TO HOLLY TALON. LET US BEGIN. I WILL BE PUTTING WHAT IS SAID ON HER PAGE IN ITALICS. SO, ENJOY . Quotes :""There will be peace, freedom and victory for this alliance if its the last thing I do!" '' ::– Holly speaking at a meeting of The Alliance For Peace. '' :"I better be payed well for this, or you will be the latest decoration in the collection in the cargo hold of my ship. Understood?" '' ::– Holly 'negotiating' the terms of a bounty she was taking on. '' :"Rules were made to be broken." '' ::– Holly Talon, to a police officer who tried to arrest her." '' DYLAN: NOW THIS, THIS PART ALONE IS BULLSHIT. You see, in the first quote, Holly expresses that she is very dedicated to bringing peace all throughout the galaxy. However, in the next quote, it is implied that not only is she being paid to kill someone, BUT 'also implies that if she is not paid well, she will also kill her employer. So much for keeping peace, I guess. Also, rules were not meant to be broken, they were meant to be followed, anyone who believes this isn't really bright. Also, third quote implies she was arrested. Again, so much for peace, freedom, and victory. Widely Feared Criminal & Respected Political Leader ''"Holly Talon was a widely feared Bounty Hunter during the Clone Wars. The Coruscant Police were known to dislike Holly so greatly that they would try to arrest her for setting foot on Coruscant, after a fight she had with the Coruscant Police Chief. Holly was a known criminal, but also a widely respected political leader." '''DYLAN: How does one be a "widely feared bounty hunter and a known criminal" while also being a widely "respected" political leader. The political leader thing might '''be a little bit believable considering most of the Parliament are also "criminals" but I highly doubt someone with a large criminal record such as Holly would be considered "Respected". ''Holly is also known for leading the Third and Fourth Dark Nebula Wars, as well as being known for amazing abilties to disguise herself, once going three years without being discovered. '' '''DYLAN: Was there even that much "Dark Nebula Wars"? I highly doubt it. Also, it was CWA, all you need to do to be a "master of disguise" is to make an alternate profile. By the way, if I recall, CWA only lasted 3 years. "For me, there has always been only one goal: Eternal peace. And I will do anything, including fight any threat, to achieve that goal." :– Holly speaking to her brother Sio, who she very close with. DYLAN: Again, I must bring up the fact Holly is a criminal who probably killed more people then she helped. The Talented Newborn "That child has talent. One day she will do something for the good of the galaxy." :– Holly's mother, Akatia, when she found eight month old Holly had escaped from her cot and was eating a bar of chocolate in the kitchen. How do you figure that an eight month old child will "one day be talented"? She's a baby, I doubt you can predict anything. Who knows, maybe she'll end up being a criminal who can't go to Courascant without being arrested. Oh wait. Holly Aayla-Maria Talon was born on Mandalore into a poor family consisting of her Mandalorian mother, Akatia Aylana Talon, her Twi'lek father (who met her mother on a visit to Mandalore over twenty years before Holly was born), Nadin Razul Talon, Holly's older brothers Dazz, Sio, Jett, Noa and Zeke her older sisters Zoe, Talonia, Talella, Talanna, Taline,Raskta, Anne and Kate. The youngest member of the family was Holly's twin sister, a Twi'lek called Talina DYLAN: That is a shit load of children. If I recall, one of the users on this site counted up a portion of Holly's relatives, and the grand total was in the hundreds. Also I'm not a mandofag hardcore Mandalorian fan like the people who were members of the Mandalorian Guild, but I'm pretty sure Holly doesn't count as a "real Mandalorian". . Holly's parents where killed by Death Watch before Holly was a year old, leading to Holly's life long grudge against the Death Watch. DYLAN: Well considering Death Watch is literally 'a group of terrorists, I don't think Holly should have been a huge fan of them in the first place. Also, can you really mourn someone you barely knew? On Da Run ''"How dare you speak like that about the way I was brought up!? Just what gives you the right to say things like that!? I admit, my upbringing has been different, but that gives you no right to make rude jokes about my life, just because I haven't been as fortunate as you! Besides, I think it makes me a stronger person." – Holly defends the way her brother Dazz brought up herself and Jett to an enemy." '''DYLAN: I like how this is pretty much irrelevant to the following story, not only that, but I highly doubt context is ever going to be given for this quote. Also Holly seems really naive in person, so I doubt it made her "a stronger person". "When their parents where killed, five year old Dazz took two year old Jett and ten month old Holly with him, thinking that the rest of the family would follow, but headstrong future Jedi Master Talonia had already taken the others the other way, thinking that Anne was looking after Holly, Dazz and Jett. Holly was terrified and confused, ''" '''DYLAN': Yeah I'd be confused too, considering I have no idea WHAT 'this sentence is about. Really the only thing it gives me is what the childrens age was when their parents were killed. ''"having no idea why she was strapped to her older brother's back, while he and another of her brothers ran as fast as they could" '''DYLAN: '''Where are they running? It is never really said where Holly and the family currently are, it '''really helps me build up an image in my mind to what is currently happening in the story. "Dazz did everything he could for Jett and Holly, often going without food for days on end, so that they could eat. Even though they led a life of crime, Dazz did his best educate Holly and Jett, who payed much more attention when Dazz was teaching them to use weapons than when he was teaching them to read. ''" '''DYLAN': Yeah I doubt a five year old (Well, still, if he wasn't five when this part of the story happened, he still didn't get a decent education during his lifetime.) is going to teach children anything about life, and I highly doubt he would know how to use a gun. Or for that matter, how to read. "Even when she was grown up, Holly often didn't know who to pronounce simple words. Mathematics was her strong point, and she was extremely clever, although her favourite lesson was weapons practise!" DYLAN: You know I kind of hope mispelling practice was intentionally placed there to show that Holly can barely spell. But I doubt it. Again, I doubt a person who never got an actual education is going to teach anyone spelling/grammar, mathematics, and how to use a weapon. "They three children lived in an abandoned military base on Umbara, but one day, just after Holly's first birthday, the base was attacked by a giant Rancor. They ran away but the Rancor pursued them. Dazz had Holly strapped over his jetpack and he was carrying Jett. Jett and Holly were both shooting at the beast which was huge, even for a Rancor." DYLAN: I'm pretty sure a rancor would end up killing a bunch of little kids on site, even if they did have weapons (Which is impossible unless they were fucking geniuses for their age. Also I'm talking about actual weapons in the real world, I'm sure weapons in the Star Wars universe are WAY harder to use.) "Eventually they escaped from the ravenous beast, but not without wounds. Holly's left arm was broken, as was Jett's right leg, Dazz was bruised quite badly, but had no broken bones. He later stole a shuttle and the family escaped from Umbara." DYLAN: It is official. Dazz is the world's smartest 5 year old. Seriously, I'm pretty sure piloting a shuttle in Star Wars is WAAAYY harder then piloting a plane in real life, and I HIGHLY 'doubt even I can pilot a plane. Anooba Vs. the Mary Sues ''"When Holly was three, she, Dazz and Jett had been caught stealing from a rich Twi'lek," '''DYLAN: Alright so this confirms that Dazz is a five year old who apparently is an expert in mathematics, language arts, weapons, and aircrafts. I know realism isn't Star Wars' strongest point, but, really? "living in the middle of nowhere on Felucia, the Twi'lek, who was famed for being cruel, decided to feed the children to his pet Anooba." DYLAN: I doubt someone living in the middle of nowhere on Felucia would be famous. Also I'm no expert on fictional animals, but I think an anooba isn't tame enough to be kept as a pet. "To his immense astonishment" DYLAN: I have a feeling right at this part Holly had thought her page needed some "descriptive" long words, so she went to Theasaurus.com to find out what another word for X and Y was. "the three children put up a fight, shooting at the creature with blasters he hadn't noticed they had." DYLAN: I'm starting to question whether or not Holly has ever actually seen a child around the age of 2-5. I'm pretty sure none of them are hardcore gun-wielding outlaws. Also considering she has only talked about 2 encounters with animals in her page, I'm going to assume that these are the only ones she ever encountered. Which is really weird, considering she has lived on both Umbara and Felucia. The Heading On Her Page Has Something To Do With Death "Too many times now, I have stared death in the face. I have lived through situations that many adults would have died in when I was just a child. I have to wonder, what will happen to me next, and what will eventually finish me off?" :– Holly talking to her sister Talanna, when she was twenty years old. DYLAN:' '''Well yeah, it is actually pretty easy to cheat death when you're the biggest mary sue on the planet. Also nothing will finish her off, her infobox confirms it considering it never provides a specified death, despite the fact Star Wars takes place "A long time ago". ''"When Holly was four, the Twi'lek recaptured the three children and swore to kill them. He kept them in cages, while he decided quite how he would kill them. Unfortuately for him, during this time, he was so happy to have the children that had stolen from him back, that he went insane. Because he was insane, he decided he would use them for target practise." DYLAN: Well considering the twi'lek is trying to kill three children I'm more then sure he was ALREADY insane beforehand. Also, what? So he still thought about how he would kill them? What is the point of the whole "falling into insanity" thing? As I stated, clearly he wasn't mentally stable in the first place, so really, nothing changed. By the way I'm kind of bummed out because it confirms that mispelling "Practice" in an earlier paragraph about how Holly never learned anything (Despite somehow 'being a genius). A Viro-Blade plunged into Holly's head, just above her right ear, it wasn't a hard shot or Holly would have been killed. The Twi'lek presumed Holly was dead and started concentrating on Jett, who almost had his nose sliced off his face. Dazz managed to locate a blaster and shot the insane Twi'lek killing it instantly. Holly lived, although only just. '''DYLAN: '''Where is "above the right ear"? Speaking of which I'm prett sure if she did get hit with a blade anywhere near her head she would have been killed. How did Dazz end up finding a blaster without the Twi'lek noticing? Slavery (Hint: Nothing bad happens, as always) ''""No, I will never, ever sell my sister to you, or to any of the other slave-trading scum, and this is the last time I will tell you! I will not let you hurt or intimidate any of us. Now go away." :– Dazz refuses, for about the millionth time, to sell his little sister Holly to slave traders on Felucia." 'DYLAN: '''Why didn't Dazz just kill the slave traders? Considering previous moments in the story, even at a young age Dazz is SOMEHOW a master at everything. ''"At the age of five, Holly was arguably the most beautiful child in the galaxy," 'DYLAN: '''And who decided this? In the current story (Unless Holly decided to just not tell the reader where the fuck she currently is in her life.) Holly is a homeless child, who probably hasn't showered since she was a baby, Holly would be kind of gross compared to other children. Also, assuming children her age think girls have cooties, I'm pretty sure there are laws preventing anyone four years or above from complimenting a 5 year old on her looks. I also don't think a slave trader (Kind of suprise no one caught on that they are obviously sex slave traders, bravo, Bane.) are into 5 year olds, I doubt even pedophiles like them THAT young. ''"and three children, one a ten year old boy, another boy, seven years old," 'DYLAN: '''This doesn't read well at all, this is the sentence that folllows the most beautiful child in the galaxy line. Its pretty confusing. ''"and a stunning five year old girl aroused lots of interest amongst the slave traders of a slum district on Felucia. Many times, the slave traders approached Dazz and tried to buy Holly- and sometimes Jett from him. Dazz refused to sell his younger brother and sister. Sometimes attempts where made to kidnap Holly, as they knew well that a beautiful girl like Holly would fetch a high price" '''DYLAN: I like how this whole section was made to boost Holly's ego. Nope, the slave traders never ACTUALLY get Holly, the whole section was created to tell the reader that Holly is "the most beautiful 5 year old evar" Finding Her Family DYLAN: Yeah I'm skipping the quote this time. "On Holly's sixth birthday, Dazz went out to steal some food for dinner and he had left Holly and Jett alone in their tree house. When Dazz returned, he was accompanied by a tall blue Twi'lek girl, who Dazz introduced as their long lost sister Anne. Anne took the three children back with her and introduced them to the rest of the children, who had come to Felucia straight after their parents had been killed. Holly was given pictures of her parents, which made her very happy as she had no memories of them herself. She was also given a blue dress that had belonged to her mother, which she kept all her life." DYLAN: 'This brings up a really important question - Why the fuck didn't the rest of her family bring Holly, Dazz and Jett to Felucia with them? Its literally never explained why. The other half of the family just decided "Fuck these three, we are leaving them to die." I'm glad she actually addresses the fact she barely remembers her parents, however. That tells me Holly isn't '''completely '''clueless to how a child thinks. Holly Be's a Bitch :""I am happy for Anne, truly I am, but I cannot say I like her husband much. He is annoying." '' ::– Holly, speaking to her sister Talella at Anne's wedding. '' ''The family lived in an abandoned farm house on Felucia, doing any work that came their way, deserate to get enough money to get by. When Holly was nine, her sister Anne, then twenty, married the King of Felucia, dramatically changing the way the family lived. Some of the family had already left Felucia, Dazz becoming leader of the famed Saberlegend (Dazz's adopted surname) pirate gang, Kate had become a polititician, working almost constantly on Coruscant, Talonia, Talanna, Taline, Talina training to be Jedi. Zoe had become a Bounty Hunter." '''DYLAN: How is a nine year old supposed to determine when a twenty year old is annoying? And if I were her, I wouldn't care considering he is the FUCKING KING OF FELUCIA. By the way, I HIGHLY 'doubt the king of Felucia would marry a girl living in an abandonned farm, if anything, he would marry royalty from another kingdom or some shit. Also Saberlegend wasn't "famed", I never heard of it, and I pay attention to literally everything, also why would the king of Felucia allow most of his wifes family to go out and become criminals? ''"Holly lived in the palace on Felucia for the next few years, although she never really enjoyed living there. Holly hated the life she was forced to lead in the palace, she hated dressing in fancy clothes, and she hated having to be polite to people she couldn't stand." 'DYLAN: '''Well I'm sorry to say this but, Holly is a giant douchebag. Holly literally went from having absolutely nothing, to having everything a girl her age could ask for. What an ungrateful person. ''"By the time she was ten, Holly had made up her mind leave Felucia as soon as she could." '''DYLAN: Why is a ten year old making such huge decisions? Also why does she have to LEAVE the planet? Can't she just go to another part of the planet where no one would find her? She also clearly doesn't really care about her family in the first place, considering she left it ASAP. If anything, Holly was better off being homeless. "Holly promised her sister Anne that she would stay on Felucia until she was sixteen, and then she would leave to become a Bounty Hunter." DYLAN: 'Nevermind, clearly the feelings mutual considering her sister allows it. ''"It was during these few years, on visits to her sister on Coruscant, that Holly was trained as a Jedi, by her many sisters, and, at times, by Anne, who had, between the ages of three and nine, spent time on Coruscant being trained as a Jedi herself." 'DYLAN: '''I don't think its that easy to become a Jedi (even though the whole midichloran thing is fucking stupid in the first place.) I also don't think you can just check in and out of the temple at any given time. ''"Holly was thirteen when Anne's first child, Lani, was born. Holly was very fond of the baby, which would eventually follow it the footsteps of its aunty Holly, and become a Bounty Hunter." 'DYLAN: '''She is a terrible, terrible parent for wanting her daughter to follow such a dark path. Holly Becomes a Bounty Hunter :""That girl could convince anyone that she is innocent of a crime they saw her commit. She is not so much a criminal as a misguided girl who has lost her way completely." '' ::– An employer of Holly's wondering if he chose the right Bounty Hunter for the job."" :: 'DYLAN: '''First quotes on the page implies she gets caught many times. Also, what way did she lose completely? Apparently most of her family were criminals to begin with. ''"Holly left Felucia at the age of sixteen, to become a Bounty Hunter, and she was glad of the freedom. Her first job was simple: take out the person who had killed her employer's wife." 'DYLAN: '''If she wasn't allowed to leave the palace as a kid, I doubt she would be allowed to leave it as an adult. Martin is Kill ''"The man she was sent to kill knew that Bounty Hunters where after him, and had hired security" 'DYLAN: '''Wait, then who told them about the bounty hunters? If I hired someone to kill someone, I wouldn't just go around telling people about it. And no, her employeer didn't set her up, there is only one explanation: Poor writing. ''"although his security would never have been enough to stop anyone as determind, ruthless, clever and talented as Holly," 'DYLAN: '''Holly learned to be determined, ruthless, clever and talented as a four year old, What's your excuse, fag? ''"who had the added benefit of being force sensitive" '' '''DYLAN: '''You know, this information would have been useful in the part where she goes to train at the Jedi Temple. ''"Martin StarNova, the target, had a house on Ryloth, which Holly 'visited', as she later put it when telling the story to a close friend" '' '''DYLAN: '''From what I've learned about Holly I'm just gonna assume she's talking about sex. ''"Once at the house, the job was simple, Holly hid herself on the roof of an outhouse, and waiting for Martin to come past on his daily tour of his premises. Holly, who was excellent with any type of weapon, hit his head with a single shot from her sniper rifle and was able, thanks to her disguise, to pass herself off as a builder, fixing a broken roof." 'DYLAN: '''Why did she explain she was in disguise before telling about killing him? Also, why didn't he realize he didn't higher a "builder"? More of Holly Jerking Herself Off ''"Holly was one of the most fearless of all the Bounty Hunters," 'DYLAN: '''After killing literally one person. ''"and she would work for either the Sepratists or the Republic, having no personal preference, although the Republic paid more than the Sepratists" '' '''DYLAN: '''As far as I know, the Republic doesn't really hire bounty hunters in the first place. I also think they would realize she's a rogue Padawan or whatever (Considering Holly was not only force sensative, but she trained at the Jedi Temple) and send her back to the temple. ''"During her career as a Bounty Hunter, Holly made many enemies, sometimes unintenionally, and on those occasions, it was othen just a sarcastic comment that she hadn't been able to resist saying that got her into trouble." 'DYLAN: '''Well considering shes killing a bunch of people, yeah, making a few enemies shouldn't be a surprise, or unintentional. I also don't think she should be making any sarcastic comments, considering the people she is criticizing are probably in better condition then she is. If not, then this world is doomed. The next paragraph is her, to no surprise, escaping trouble. Clearly, Holly "Mary-Sue" Talon's greatest weapon isn't her sniper rifle, its her plot armor. The Literally Antiunknown Years '''DYLAN: '''Alright so a new section of her page begun, and the header title alone is bullshit. The header implies that what is being told is unknown. However, they are literally ANTIUNKNOWN (lel) considering she tells about them. In fact I'm skipping this section, its literally just "WHAT YOU JUST FINISHED READING: IN A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW" Back to Felucia "I wish to return to my family for a while. I want no fuss, no attention, no big party or news story. Haar'chak! I know this galaxy though, all the attention, I know it is coming! Already I can feel the eyes of the galaxy on me!" :– Holly speaking to a friend. In keeping with a life long habbit, she utters one phrase in Mandalorian. '''DYLAN: '''Technically she only says a word in mandalorian, not a phrase. Also I doubt they missed her in the first place considering she ditched them for a life of crime (And they let her, because they didn't care in the first place.) When Holly returned to Felucia, not only her family, but the entire population of the planet welcomed Holly back. For a few weeks whatever Holly did was the talk of the whole planet, but then, much to Holly's relief, interest in her dropped and she could lead a quiet life for a while. Holly spent thirteen years on Felucia, doing the occasional Bounty Hunter job when she wanted something to do. Eleven years after Holly's return to Felucia, she married an ex-Republic Commander. It was around this time that Holly's sister Anne had her second child, Amai. '''DYLAN: '''Wait, so no introduction to the ex-Republic Commander? Just "she married him" Also keep in mind this is the first person she married, I hear this is FAR from the last person she marries. Speaking of which why would the whole planet welcome her back? She is one of a billion sisters, I doubt they even noticed she was gone. Also, considering the fact Holly is technically a Jedi, I'm pretty sure she would get in trouble for marrying. The *Takeover of Felucia "On this occasion I see the needs of my niece high than than those of ner'vod." :– Holly speaking to a news reporter in the aftermath of the takeover of Felucia. '''DYLAN: '''I like how she went to Wookipedia and looked at commonly used Mandalorian words, and put it in her quotes to make herself seem like "le true mandalorian" Around six months after the wedding, Holly's niece Lani, then just thirteen years old, decided that she wanted power now and came up with a plan to overthrow her parents and take charge of Felucia for herself. In order to succeed, she enlisted the help of Holly and Dazz. '''DYLAN: '''So she technically, Lani, Dazz, AND Holly are going to betray Anne, (And let it be noted that these 4 would be dead broke if it wasn't for Anne) for power? Pricks. Despite the fact she would be fighting her own sister, who had looked after her for most of her life, Holly found it easy to decide to help Lani, as, not just in her opinion, Anne had started to behave in the manner of a dictator '''DYLAN: '''I still don't believe that is a reason to kill your own sister. ''"In just a matter of days, Queen Anne, King John and the Grand Army Of Felucia had been defeated by a Pirate, a Bounty Hunter and a thirteen year old girl." '''DYLAN: I'm getting tired of Holly literally being invincible, I'm just going to assume that no one close to Holly really dies anywhere on her page. This is just bullshit. Also, whatever happened to Holly's husband? "Despite the fact Holly had just helped remove her from power, Anne stayed just as close with her sister as she always had been. ''" '''DYLAN: '"Oh don't worry, sis, you just removed me from my power! I forgive you!" Idiot. Yeah I Have No Title "I came to Felucia for peace and quiet, I did not get that, so I shall move to Ryloth, it is quiet there. it will be a good place to bring up my child. I hope you do not feel I am deserting you Lani, you know I would never do that." :– Holly telling Lani that she is leaving Felucia to live on Ryloth. DYLAN; 'If I recall, Holly came to Felucia to do exactly what she was doing on Umbara: Kill people and steal their shit. Also if she wanted a quiet life I DOUBT she would be overthrowing governments like she ust got done doing. ''"Things quietened down after the take over of Felucia, and Holly and her husband, Quinlan Hexpulse, moved to Ryloth, where Holly had a friend called Jade Firestar, who was Queen of Ryloth." 'DYLAN: '''When did Holly get the time to make a friend on Ryloth? In fact, how did a bounty hunter become friends with the queen of Ryloth? Also, keep in mind, this is husband number 2. ''About three months after the move to Ryloth, Holly discovered that she was pregnant, and decided that she would give up working as a Bounty Hunter until after her baby was born. 'DYLAN: '''I'm expecting some plot twist along the lines of "The baby isn't Quinlan's" coming up soon. ''"Holly's child was a girl, and Holly and Quinlan named her Tallie, in accordance with Holly's family tradition which was "the first born girl of a Talon must be given a first name starting with Tal". Tallie was a Twi'lek, like Holly's father, which Holly took as a symbol that her child was imensely talented." 'DYLAN: '''Why does everyone in Holly's family just assume there children are "very talented" at such young ages? Nevermind, considering Holly and all of her family are immortal due to poor writing, yeah, she's probably right. ''"Holly was proved to be right when it was discovered that Tallie was one of the most force talented creatures ever." '''DYLAN: I don't think "force talented" is a phrase. I also don't think Tallie is one of the most "force talented" creatures ever. "Within a year of Tallie's birth, Holly was working again." DYLAN: 'Mother of the year. ''"The half-Mandalorian woman raised a lot of speculation, as she appeared to break just about every law in the galaxy." 'DYLAN: '''How exactly does that raise speculation? Also, Holly Talon is now confirmed to be a pedophile and child rapist, considering she broke almost every law in the galaxy. ''"When she was finally arrested, she bribed the policeman to let her go." 'DYLAN: '''Knowing Holly, the policeman was probabl bribed with sex. ''"The policeman, Steve Bladewave, was the husband of a close friend of Holly's, and that friend, Asara, thought so highly of Holly, that she would, had Holly told her to, left Steve, despite the way she felt for him." 'DYLAN: '''Wow. For one, once again, how can someone who spent half her childhood homeless, the other half trapped in a palace, and the rest of her life as a bounty hunter make such close friends? By the way, I'm not an expert, but I DOUBT a woman would leave her husband for doing her job. Either that, or Asara is as much of a bitch as Holly. ''"Holly knew there would be a galaxy wide hunt for her, and decided she had to change her identity. She dyed her hair black and took the place of a politician named Zina Atelli, whom she knew had been killed and the murder had not been discovered yet. This course of action caused Holly to have to be extremely careful about when she met up with Quinlan." 'DYLAN: '''So dying her hair black and changing her name is going to magically make people not recognize her? By the way, I'm not an expert, but I think becoming a politician takes YEARS of studying and shit like that. And as far as I know, Holly never even went to school. Also, her becoming a politician basically disreguards the title of the section: "Trying To Lead a Quiet Life". Speech "The greater good of the galaxy is my concern here, and I am surprised it is not yours! Here I am, thinking of the long term effects on OUR galaxy, while all you lot think about is quick ways to line your pockets!" – Holly, as Zina, makes the most critical speech of her political career. '''DYLAN: '''More like "most hypocritical speech of her life." Why is a bounty hunter trying to convince people to start believing. The greater good of the galaxy is probably her last concern. Funny she should put someone down for trying to get rich, when she was '''literally '''just murdering people for money a few stories ago. ''"After three years, Holly was discovered by a news reporter who overheard a meeting she had with Quinlan. Holly and Quinlan had been arguing, and had agreed that their relationship was over" '' '''DYLAN: '''Alright there goes the second marriage. Also, where is her kid at? She sucks at being a mother. Also I'm surprised it took three years for the news to break out. ''"Once the truth about Holly's identity was out, Holly fled to Felucia, knowing her family would never let anything happen to her." '''DYLAN: '''Why does she go to a different planet everytime she gets in trouble? I'm sure Ryloth is full of hiding places, in fact, she has a whole fucking planet she can use to hide. Speaking of which, why isn't her equally corrupt niece helping her out by sending her army to Ryloth or anything? So much for "knowing her family would never let anything happen to her" "It was widely known where Holly was living and attempts and her life happened on a regular basis." '''DYLAN: '''Aren't they allowed to just legally arrest her? ''"basis. It was during her time on Felucia that Holly met up with an old friend, Jallar Groundbore. Within a year, Holly and Jallar had married, and Holly was pregnant for the second time in her life. Holly and Jallar had twins, a girl named Kylie Flame-Talon and a boy named Jovan Resh Talon. ''" '''DYLAN: Why does she keep jumping into MARRIAGES THIS FAST? Also, third marriage, second batch of children. War "She insulted my honor, called me 'that damn half blood' to my face, and came round to visit me, just to mong war! What was I supposed to do? Step back and not defend myself, my friends, my family and my beliefs?" :– Holly's first, angry speech to her alliance. DYLAN: 'Typical half-blood. ''"One of the worst things that happened to Holly was the war with Dark Nebula, or The Dark Alliance War, as it was known. It was the third Dark Nebula War, Holly had played a tiny part in The Second Dark Nebula War, but it had been hardly anything." 'DYLAN: '''I like how it completely ignores her involvement in the second Dark Nebula war. I'm guessing she did something bad, and since her page makes her out to '''somehow '''be someone who can do nothing wrong, she decided to ignore it. ''"Xalandra Nova remembered Holly's name and sought her out to kill her." '' '''DYLAN: '''Yeah I think Xalandra would be to busy getting fucked by someone to give a shit about Holly. If anything, heres how it all happened: Holly found out Xalandra put her friend on ignore, so she decided to wage war against Dark Nebula. ''"Holly was spending time in her house on Ryloth, although house does not really to justice to the building, palace is a better way to describe it, when Xalandra turned up with several of her allies, demanding Holly joined her or died" '' '''DYLAN: '''I honestly didn't give a shit about Nova and that huge "Dark Nebula War" thing, but I'm pretty sure that Xalandra didn't show up at peoples houses and threatened to kill them if they didn't work for her. ''"Holly refused to join, and challenged Nova to a duel. Holly won, humiliating Nova in front of her allies. Xalandra declared war on Holly on the spot. ''" '''DYLAN: '''I'm surprised this didn't end in friendship, it sounds like Holly and Xalandra have a lot in common. Both criminals, both whores, both are probably men, both are fucking idiots, I don't see why they are fighting. ''"It was during the first few days of the war that Holly began to train as a Sith under the care of her friend,Jaden Sithguard." 'DYLAN: '''Before I read any futher, I'm going to call it right now: Holly ends up marrying this guy. ''"Through out the course of the war, her friend, Master Steve, gave her advice on how to deal with Nova." 'DYLAN: '''I doubt a giant Jedi like Master Steve would even care to help Holly, considering shes a sith (Then again Master Steve can't really be considered a Jedi, considering he broke the Jedi code billions of times. However, that is a topic I'll save for a later rant.) ''"His help proved to be very important, his own experience against Nova was of great tactical importance to Holly, as it helped greatly." 'DYLAN: '''I doubt someone who can barely spell the word "ignore" and ends up making videos hating on people in CWA that got him angry would be very important. ''." Holly was not the first leader, but little is said about the fate that met the first leader" 'DYLAN: '''Leader of what exactly? It doesn't really address what Holly became the "leader" of. Apparently, The Leader Thing Was Hinting At Something ''"Holly rolled her eyes, and considered making some sign that she was fed up.There wouldn't be much point in it. No one could hear her, or if they could, they wouldn't care. How the heck did I manage to get myself captured? She wondered grumpily, this was supposed to be a secret mission, as far as I know, only Tarian and I know. ''She stoo0d up again."'' DYLAN: '''Why did it randomly switch point of views? ''""LET ME OUT OF HERE, YOU DICTATORIAL DI'KUTS!!" She screamed, hitting the wall as hard as she could. They'd get fed up soon, and someone would come, she hoped" '' '''DYLAN: Again, I would put money on her having the "Mandalorian words" page on Wookipedia or something open as she made her page. "Her situation could be worse, at least they hadn't tied her up, or gagged her." 'DYLAN: '''I bet she gave them consent to "gag" her iykwim ''"Really, security round here was dreadful. "If only I could get this door open." Holly grumbled. She looked around again, hoping to notice something she hadn't noticed before that she could use as a weapon. Nothing. Just as she suspected." 'DYLAN: '''You know I get that she was aiming for people not understanding the context of whats currently happening, but considering how straight-forward the story has been, its a little weird ''"As before, no one came when she shouted. Holly growled. She had no way of escaping until someone opened that door. She sat down in a corner, and began to think about how she'd been catured. Tarian had sent her on the mission, same as usual. But Nebula guards had known she was coming, which meant either someone in the alliance had informantion they shouldn't, or.... or Tarian had told them she was coming." 'DYLAN: '''What she '''should '''have done was introduce Tarian in a previous story, and make the reader believe Tarian was on Holly. But, nope, she writes one story, and Tarian is automatically an antagonist. ''"Holly shook her head, trying to push that last thought out of her mind." 'DYLAN: '''That sounds like it was written by a Disney channel writer. ''"Tarian was the leader. He was as comitted to this cause as she was. Wasn't he? All these battles and raids where the enemy knew they were coming.... had all been Tarian's idea. Holly knew that others in the alliance were having doubts about this leadership." '' '''DYLAN: '''I don't fully know what Tarian is the leader of, so I'm going to assume he is the leader of the whole cause. YOU SEE, this would be like Daniel Greenpulser secretly fighting the People's Parliament the whole time, this is a pretty stupid twist. Also, I thought the previous chapter said Holly was the leader of whatever shes the leader of? ''"Holly only knew she'd dropped off when the sound of the door sliding open woke her up. She could hear an irritable voice snapping at someone outside in the corridor. That was when she realised the door was open. There was no one else in the room, suspicious, but at least she had a chance. She got to her feet, wondering what had become of the helmet she'd had earlier on." '''DYLAN: '''And, as literally everyone predicted, Holly escapes without a logical explanation. Category:Blog posts